Friday, February 29, 2008

Rekindling a Love Affair


During my first year of college we had a small coffee shop below the caf that sold this delicious bottled tea called Honest Tea.

I was hooked!

When I transferred schools, I had forgotten about this delicious, organic thirst quencher because I had not found it anywhere else and had reluctantly ended my affair with the tasty tea.

Recently, the boy toy and I were wandering through the bulk foods/organic aisles at good ole' Cub Foods and I FOUND IT!!

There it was, sitting on the shelf, calling to me to take it home, pop the top and rekindle our love affair from years ago.

Now I come home from the grocery store and the boy toy laughs because I have a huge stock of Honest Tea!

And to back up raving reviews, I recently found out that our IT guy's wife has also discovered and begun an affair with this liquidy delight!

You gotta try it! It's great stuff!

Geez, I should call them and see if they want me as a spokesperson!

Is That a Fat Joke?!

The president of my company has an awkward sense of humor that resembles, at best, a five to twelve year old.

Last night we had an awards dinner that served a very wonderful chicken stuffed with apple dressing, garlic mashed potatoes, and lemony veggies. Simply marvelous.

Desert? Why yes, a scrumptious piece of chocolate cake!

I was very careful to eat all of my pre-dinner salad and veggies while enjoying the company of my co-workers and two random people sitting at our table. I ate a good portion of my chicken and mashed potatoes, but was sure not to over eat as chocolate is a personal addiction of mine.

As we begin the desert portion I take a bite or two of my cake, thoroughly enjoying every moment that the moist delicacy is melting gloriously on my taste buds.

Without missing a beat, the president of the company looks over at my plate and back at a one of the random people, a nicely dressed, middle aged woman, who hasn't touched her cake. He then says with the biggest grin I have ever seen, "Hey Gidge! Did you want another piece of cake!! Hahahahahahaha!!"

Was that a fat joke!?

As you can imagine, I lost my appetite.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Woopsie Daisy



No sooner did I complete my last blog entry, my tummy started to grumble about being somewhat empty. I realized that I had not gone office grocery shopping in a while and decided to use the excuse that I had to buy coffee and coffee filters for the communal coffee maker.

I also used this time to call my boy toy who, while seasonally unemployed, has been updating our little shack.

I leisurely walked the aisles trying to decide what I would be craving each day for the next week or two at lunch and decided on Goldfish Crackers (mmmmmm!!), Lean Cuisine in a variety of different and healthy options, a Cub Fresh Deli Sandwich (roast beef) along with a chef's salad.

I proceeded to the check-out aisles to decide which lane suits me best:

Lane #12 - As I approach the flashing number starts indicating that this may take a while.

Lane #8 - A man standing on the customer side of the register has turned his back to the cashier and is peering out into the store for someone. The cashier must have been standing there for a while waiting for him to find his long lost food scout and has resorted to picking at her finger nails.... NEXT!

Lane #5 - The first lane after the express lanes (I opted against express lane because I had to make two transactions; one transaction for my personal stash and the other for the office). The line was a little longer, but I felt that this was still the quickest route.

As I patiently unloaded my booty and placed my dividers up to separate my transactions, the cashier looks at the coupons she's been handed and a couple packages of meat on the conveyor belt and calmly tries to explain to the young Latino family that the coupon is for steak and they have picked up roast.

I freeze hoping that this will not become another frozen-in-time line.

The man speaks briefly to his wife in Spanish so rapid I couldn't even make out the few words I understand and then turns to the cashier to tell her that they don't want the roast and that they aren't going to make her retrieve the steaks for their coupon.

VICTORY!!

The Latina woman soon becomes preoccupied from her grocery bagging because there is a small person in the plastic car attached to the front of the cart that begins to wail very loudly. I notice her grab a cup and place it on top of a filled grocery bag although I didn't pay attention to what this cup may contain.

Soon it is my turn to check-out and this goes smoothly, flawlessly, in perfect motion, without a hitch. As I finish paying for transaction #2 with lightning speed, I glance over my shoulder to Lane #8, where the man is still peering off into the distance for his long, lost scout.

Yes! I have managed to pick the quickest line!

As I am glowing in my post achievement glory I suddenly start to slip and slide. My face contorts in confusion and fear. My purse swings wildly in my hands. A small voice from behind me chokes in the quickness the situation is playing out.

I am sliding on something wet and sticky. What?! WHAT?!

I regain my balance and look back at the remaining balls of purple, pink, and blue ice cream and a giant skid mark next to the stainless steel bagging table. The culprit you may ask, DIPPIN' DOTS!

Remarkably, my face does not turn red and I manage to avoid the stares from every other check-out lane.

I look up at the lady behind the customer service desk and she looks back at me with the most horrified expression I have ever seen.

To push the situation right over the awkward edge, Customer Service Lady felt the need to over-explain that what I had slid on were Dippin' Dots and that she had wondered why the kid in the cart had been crying.

Mortifying to say the least!!

As I slung my reusable bag over my shoulder and the automatic doors parted in my presence, I heard the loud speaker crackle to life, "Clean-up at check-out lane five. Clean-up at check-out lane five. Thank you"

Your welcome.

I am GREEN and so can you!!

Remember back in elementary school, when your teachers would send you home with an assignment that pertained to environmental responsibility? Your assignment was simple; walk around the neighborhood and collect one bag of trash, or make sure to turn the lights off when you left the room, stop letting the water run while you brush your teeth, take a shorter shower.

Pretty simple stuff for a kid to accomplish. Planting the seed of positive Earth stewardship at a young age to help our generation become Earth saving fanatics.

I'll admit, I'm okay with this form of brainwashing.

As of late, I have become a green machine. Currently I am so fixated on this issue that I am attempting to change every and all design habits I have.

Rain gardens, native plantings, permeable paving, native stone, fabric instead of plastic, mulch instead of rock, etc. I can't get enough. I bathe in their glorious environmental impacts. I yearn for their promise of clean water, healthier soil, happier flora and fauna, cleaner air!

Not that I didn't consider all of these variables in previous designs, but now I am taking it to a new level. I am becoming one with the MN Greenstar Organization and LEED, with the rules, regulations, and point systems they have set up for me.

If I could, I would tear down my house* and start anew! I keep reusable grocery bags** in my car, I bring any and all recyclable materials home from work where I insert them directly into our much too tiny recycle bin which I now believe needs to trade places with our garbage can that has yet to have more than 1.5 bags of garbage in it per week. I want a little scooter so that my trips to the grocery store, parent's house, friend's houses, and maybe, just maybe work will not require a car!!

So, maybe I am starting to sound like a hippie/tree hugger, or maybe I am starting to sound like I am jumping on the bandwagon with the newest money making/spending trend. I like to believe that my little steps are making a difference.

Hello, my name is Gidge and I'm an Earth-saving-aholic.


*I would love to do this although I believe that my neighbors would begin to resemble Frankensteinish mobs due to the fact that our houses are physically linked together, identical clones all in a row.
**Thanks Cub for making them a dollar... Boo Oprah for trying to jump on that cash cow and selling yours for $7!! AND! either way you slice it, those suckers hold twice the amount of groceries and you can carry them by their straps over your shoulder without fear of broken handles and food all over the parking lot! GENIUS!

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Since Nobody Ever Reads This

Yeah, I know. I could pretty much say whatever I wanted because I have nary a reader!

Well, I haven't written in my virtually private blog as it has been a tough past couple of months.

To start out...

Many funerals, hospital scares (not me), and not a single firm to be found with a desire for someone such as myself.

Upon careful self-inspection, I have decided that I too would not find a single thing interesting about myself.

What puts me above the average? What makes me stand out? What do I have to offer?

Not a darn thing.

Not a single certification.

No designs/installations that look any different from someone attending a mediocre school or someone with nothing more than a simple urge to design and no education to back it up.

Well, okay. I have a little more than this, but I feel as though there is nothing special and haven't been able to pinpoint a single quality that would turn an employer's head.


Obviously, I have some soul searching and certification getting to do.

I need to live every cheesy chick flick about superficial girls in pink who decide to become someone.

I need a makeover.