How I Pass the Day

This is a snippet of a conversation that I had with a co-worker yesterday. We often speak via Google chat, which helps us to keep convos on the DL since everyone and their mother can hear us.

Background before I let you read the chit-chat:

Our founder has this insatiable urge to tell long, drawn out lies, er, stories about how awesome he is. He has a tendency to one up everyone as he becomes bored talking about anything/anyone other than himself.

We often pull him into conversations with the hopes of him steering the conversation into a story about how he fought a bear/saw a Golden Eagle with an elk and a trout, one in his talons and the other in his mouth (seriously, I'm not exaggerating)/shot an elk from his neighbors front porch in his underwear/invented the school fund raiser where you sell coupons to unsuspecting homeowners via band or choir children/etc.

4:01 PM Gidge: oh God

we're having a one up contest

do you hear this?!

Co-worker: story time?

G: no, one up contest about losing glasses

CW: i lost mine in my urethra once....there top that.

4:02 PM G: hahahahaha

Well, I lost mine in the woods and a bear got a hold of them so I had to fashion a whip out of some tree branches

CW: nice, did you kick the bear's ass?

G: once I had gotten that made I had to practice a few times but I used that whip to grab the glasses out of the bears mouth

4:03 PM once I had them, the bear started coming after me, so I used the whip to grab hold of a tree branch and I swung myself to safety like Indiana Jones

4:04 PM once I was up in the tree, Pam* flew a helicopter out with a rescue team and they flew me out of there on a hanging ladder that Pam used her mighty, Amazon arms to hold on to from up in the air

it was pretty amazing

We often humor ourselves by making up stories that could come from our fearless leader's mouth. However, we analyze them and find that it isn't that far off from a story he would tell.

*Pam is our founder's wife... I swear she's 7' tall.