Woopsie Daisy

No sooner did I complete my last blog entry, my tummy started to grumble about being somewhat empty. I realized that I had not gone office grocery shopping in a while and decided to use the excuse that I had to buy coffee and coffee filters for the communal coffee maker.

I also used this time to call my boy toy who, while seasonally unemployed, has been updating our little shack.

I leisurely walked the aisles trying to decide what I would be craving each day for the next week or two at lunch and decided on Goldfish Crackers (mmmmmm!!), Lean Cuisine in a variety of different and healthy options, a Cub Fresh Deli Sandwich (roast beef) along with a chef's salad.

I proceeded to the check-out aisles to decide which lane suits me best:

Lane #12 - As I approach the flashing number starts indicating that this may take a while.

Lane #8 - A man standing on the customer side of the register has turned his back to the cashier and is peering out into the store for someone. The cashier must have been standing there for a while waiting for him to find his long lost food scout and has resorted to picking at her finger nails.... NEXT!

Lane #5 - The first lane after the express lanes (I opted against express lane because I had to make two transactions; one transaction for my personal stash and the other for the office). The line was a little longer, but I felt that this was still the quickest route.

As I patiently unloaded my booty and placed my dividers up to separate my transactions, the cashier looks at the coupons she's been handed and a couple packages of meat on the conveyor belt and calmly tries to explain to the young Latino family that the coupon is for steak and they have picked up roast.

I freeze hoping that this will not become another frozen-in-time line.

The man speaks briefly to his wife in Spanish so rapid I couldn't even make out the few words I understand and then turns to the cashier to tell her that they don't want the roast and that they aren't going to make her retrieve the steaks for their coupon.

VICTORY!!

The Latina woman soon becomes preoccupied from her grocery bagging because there is a small person in the plastic car attached to the front of the cart that begins to wail very loudly. I notice her grab a cup and place it on top of a filled grocery bag although I didn't pay attention to what this cup may contain.

Soon it is my turn to check-out and this goes smoothly, flawlessly, in perfect motion, without a hitch. As I finish paying for transaction #2 with lightning speed, I glance over my shoulder to Lane #8, where the man is still peering off into the distance for his long, lost scout.

Yes! I have managed to pick the quickest line!

As I am glowing in my post achievement glory I suddenly start to slip and slide. My face contorts in confusion and fear. My purse swings wildly in my hands. A small voice from behind me chokes in the quickness the situation is playing out.

I am sliding on something wet and sticky. What?! WHAT?!

I regain my balance and look back at the remaining balls of purple, pink, and blue ice cream and a giant skid mark next to the stainless steel bagging table. The culprit you may ask, DIPPIN' DOTS!

Remarkably, my face does not turn red and I manage to avoid the stares from every other check-out lane.

I look up at the lady behind the customer service desk and she looks back at me with the most horrified expression I have ever seen.

To push the situation right over the awkward edge, Customer Service Lady felt the need to over-explain that what I had slid on were Dippin' Dots and that she had wondered why the kid in the cart had been crying.

Mortifying to say the least!!

As I slung my reusable bag over my shoulder and the automatic doors parted in my presence, I heard the loud speaker crackle to life, "Clean-up at check-out lane five. Clean-up at check-out lane five. Thank you"

Your welcome.