I don't know that I have a great way to start this post other than to tell you that over the years the Adobe Suite has become both my closest friend and my most loathed enemy. I don't know why I feel the need to share this with you as I am sure that anyone that reads this would find this post boring and would be unable to relate to it, but I must. I am compelled because I am perplexed.
Adobe and I were introduced in an intense class one cold day in January of 2002. The class pertained to digital photography, something that I was very excited to learn more about. Adobe released her sweet baby, Photoshop, into my shaky,unsure arms and from there we began the get-to-know-you dance. She laid out her basic steps and I clumsily mimicked them in hopes of taking my photography to a new level of artistic grace and beauty... maybe even edginess.
Slowly but surely she began to introduce me to her other children, InDesign and Illustrator. Thus far, Illustrator has proven to be a shy and skittish creature, preferring to keep to itself. InDesign, on the other hand, has taken charge and become very outgoing. She has shown me the ways of professional layout and I am very grateful for everything that she has offered me.
However, all three are obviously born of the same mother and have proven to be tricky and witty. The language they speak is often foreign and at times very confusing. They conceal some of their greatest talents from me and I have to coax them out into the open using every tool I can get my hands on.
Don't get me wrong, I'm sure if I took some graphic design classes that I would be able to float through these programs as though I had known them from birth. However, I feel discouraged as I have taken many a class pertaining around Adobe Suite and her language of gibberish. At one point, I even had to help the professor as he had forgotten what some of the tools were capable of and how to use them.
I use the tutorials and I learn certain tricks from blogs online, but Adobe and I have been dancing partners for six years now and I feel as though I have just scratched the surface of this mysterious yet familiar beast.
This will be my lifelong goal - maybe this is my Wells Fargo Someday commercial.
Someday... proficiency in Adobe.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
How I Pass the Day
This is a snippet of a conversation that I had with a co-worker yesterday. We often speak via Google chat, which helps us to keep convos on the DL since everyone and their mother can hear us.
Background before I let you read the chit-chat:
Our founder has this insatiable urge to tell long, drawn out lies, er, stories about how awesome he is. He has a tendency to one up everyone as he becomes bored talking about anything/anyone other than himself.
We often pull him into conversations with the hopes of him steering the conversation into a story about how he fought a bear/saw a Golden Eagle with an elk and a trout, one in his talons and the other in his mouth (seriously, I'm not exaggerating)/shot an elk from his neighbors front porch in his underwear/invented the school fund raiser where you sell coupons to unsuspecting homeowners via band or choir children/etc.
We often humor ourselves by making up stories that could come from our fearless leader's mouth. However, we analyze them and find that it isn't that far off from a story he would tell.
*Pam is our founder's wife... I swear she's 7' tall.
Background before I let you read the chit-chat:
Our founder has this insatiable urge to tell long, drawn out lies, er, stories about how awesome he is. He has a tendency to one up everyone as he becomes bored talking about anything/anyone other than himself.
We often pull him into conversations with the hopes of him steering the conversation into a story about how he fought a bear/saw a Golden Eagle with an elk and a trout, one in his talons and the other in his mouth (seriously, I'm not exaggerating)/shot an elk from his neighbors front porch in his underwear/invented the school fund raiser where you sell coupons to unsuspecting homeowners via band or choir children/etc.
4:01 PM Gidge: oh God
we're having a one up contest
do you hear this?!
Co-worker: story time?
G: no, one up contest about losing glasses
CW: i lost mine in my urethra once....there top that.
4:02 PM G: hahahahaha
Well, I lost mine in the woods and a bear got a hold of them so I had to fashion a whip out of some tree branches
CW: nice, did you kick the bear's ass?
G: once I had gotten that made I had to practice a few times but I used that whip to grab the glasses out of the bears mouth
4:03 PM once I had them, the bear started coming after me, so I used the whip to grab hold of a tree branch and I swung myself to safety like Indiana Jones
4:04 PM once I was up in the tree, Pam* flew a helicopter out with a rescue team and they flew me out of there on a hanging ladder that Pam used her mighty, Amazon arms to hold on to from up in the air
it was pretty amazing
We often humor ourselves by making up stories that could come from our fearless leader's mouth. However, we analyze them and find that it isn't that far off from a story he would tell.
*Pam is our founder's wife... I swear she's 7' tall.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
The Goings On of A Busy Gidge
My life has been topsy-turvy these past couple of weeks. I am insanely busy, and not just with work.
I am now the Vice President and Treasurer of a local association with national roots (no, I don't have to travel anywhere. This is an offshoot of a national social/philanthropic group and my duties are strictly stationed in the Minneapolis/Saint Paul area)
In addition to my double trouble association status, the boyfriend has now requested that I begin some minor planning for our wedding before he gives me the ring. I'm not exactly sure why this is and what this means he has planned, but I think his fear is that by the time he gives me the ring we will not be able to book our venue for next year when the leaves change color (i.e. somewhere around October 3rd, 2009). So far, we have a guest list, a list of venues to request information from, a rough budget, and an overall theme.
I have three binders that are exploding at the seams with notes/minutes/meetings/pictures/information/ideas/etc. All binders follow me wherever I go. All binders are used daily.
I really, REALLY love to plan events, but I think I need a vacation!
I am now the Vice President and Treasurer of a local association with national roots (no, I don't have to travel anywhere. This is an offshoot of a national social/philanthropic group and my duties are strictly stationed in the Minneapolis/Saint Paul area)
In addition to my double trouble association status, the boyfriend has now requested that I begin some minor planning for our wedding before he gives me the ring. I'm not exactly sure why this is and what this means he has planned, but I think his fear is that by the time he gives me the ring we will not be able to book our venue for next year when the leaves change color (i.e. somewhere around October 3rd, 2009). So far, we have a guest list, a list of venues to request information from, a rough budget, and an overall theme.
I have three binders that are exploding at the seams with notes/minutes/meetings/pictures/information/ideas/etc. All binders follow me wherever I go. All binders are used daily.
I really, REALLY love to plan events, but I think I need a vacation!
Monday, July 21, 2008
Most Annoying Phone Call
The boy toy and I have these great gift cards ($15 each) for Blockbuster that we managed to acquire from simply cleaning up the neighborhood/job sites/picking up garbage wherever.
My Coke Rewards isn't something that everyone in the world finds worthwhile, therefore, when they go to litter they leave us with a nice cash prize for picking up their odds and ends.
Long story short, we were able to purchase a variety of items including $150 in Blockbuster gift cards. We go pretty much every other weekend and get movies, but this leads us to the annoying phone call.
Okay, so we have some issues getting the movies back right away.
000-000-0000 is the most dreaded phone call of the day.
I loath you Blockbuster electronic phone service!
My Coke Rewards isn't something that everyone in the world finds worthwhile, therefore, when they go to litter they leave us with a nice cash prize for picking up their odds and ends.
Long story short, we were able to purchase a variety of items including $150 in Blockbuster gift cards. We go pretty much every other weekend and get movies, but this leads us to the annoying phone call.
Okay, so we have some issues getting the movies back right away.
000-000-0000 is the most dreaded phone call of the day.
I loath you Blockbuster electronic phone service!
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Drunken Monday Afternoon Golfing a.k.a. Molesting the Poor Girl Trying to Work
It was brought to my attention the other day that I had forgotten a very comical event that had happened on Monday.
While out on a job site (i.e. a very nice golf course in West Saint Paul) I stopped to take a breather and wait for a group of middle aged men to finish teeing off. I'm staring down at my drawing and double checking that I have indeed taken any and all measurements for a set of tiered retaining walls when I see a man in a bright shirt come staggering toward me. He takes a seat... pretty much on top of me.
Okay, I know that there are many a places of occupation where golfing on a week day is considered the best way to pitch a sale, but this man was drunk. D.R.U.N.K. Drunk.
He proceeds to ask me if I'm doing a survey. I reply no, I am measuring for some landscaping. I then decide that I may as well make the best of this and humor him with some small talk. I ask, "What the heck are you doing out here on a Monday?! Don't you work?!"
He slurs, "Working is overrrrateddd. Besides, I'm geetttting paid right now", the smell of alcohol washing over my face in torrents.
He sits quietly for a while, my theory is that he momentarily passed out.
His friend walks over and tells me to disregard this man to which the man replies, "She's doing a survey!"
Then he stumbles back over to take a shot at teeing off.
The guy I was working with came over and asked me if I knew the guy to which I replied no. He then said, slightly under his breath, "He was probably trying to look down your shirt!" I agreed.
Just at that moment I turned to see the man swing, hit and fail miserably. They are probably still looking for his ball to this day, which flew straight out into the trees about 90 degrees from the direction it was supposed to go.
While out on a job site (i.e. a very nice golf course in West Saint Paul) I stopped to take a breather and wait for a group of middle aged men to finish teeing off. I'm staring down at my drawing and double checking that I have indeed taken any and all measurements for a set of tiered retaining walls when I see a man in a bright shirt come staggering toward me. He takes a seat... pretty much on top of me.
Okay, I know that there are many a places of occupation where golfing on a week day is considered the best way to pitch a sale, but this man was drunk. D.R.U.N.K. Drunk.
He proceeds to ask me if I'm doing a survey. I reply no, I am measuring for some landscaping. I then decide that I may as well make the best of this and humor him with some small talk. I ask, "What the heck are you doing out here on a Monday?! Don't you work?!"
He slurs, "Working is overrrrateddd. Besides, I'm geetttting paid right now", the smell of alcohol washing over my face in torrents.
He sits quietly for a while, my theory is that he momentarily passed out.
His friend walks over and tells me to disregard this man to which the man replies, "She's doing a survey!"
Then he stumbles back over to take a shot at teeing off.
The guy I was working with came over and asked me if I knew the guy to which I replied no. He then said, slightly under his breath, "He was probably trying to look down your shirt!" I agreed.
Just at that moment I turned to see the man swing, hit and fail miserably. They are probably still looking for his ball to this day, which flew straight out into the trees about 90 degrees from the direction it was supposed to go.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Stormy Summer Night
I know this will sound odd seeing as so many trees were lost in yesterdays storm(s), but I LOVE STORM SEASON.
Just thought I would share that with everyone.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Night Terrors, Ma'am
I woke up with a racing heart and a fear so real around 4 this morning that I thought I was going to have a panic attack.
I had the worst dream EVER.
Here goes:
The boyfriend and I are sitting in "my room" in a house that I have never seen before. The bed has a white down comforter and is backed up against a wall with a beautiful floor to ceiling window at the head of the bed. The window has white squares and a rounded top.
The boyfriend is mindlessly telling me about his day and I am daydreaming while staring out the window. The lot next door is vacant and full of tall prairie grass. The sky is overcast and it makes the prairie grass neon yellow.
A family of five (a mom, a dad, a son and two daughters) are setting up camp with a tent and a grill. I wave although I don't know them. They look up and wave back and I instantly feel as though they have been there for a few days and it is a long weekend... some sort of a holiday.
Flash forward. It is the middle of the night and we are sleeping when I wake up with a start. The house is dark except for the moonlight streaming through the windows making large squares and rectangle shapes on the hardwood floors. I get up and move toward the door. The boyfriend continues to sleep.
I open the door to find the youngest girl from the camping family standing there in a white nightgown. She is covered in blood. I look past her down the dark hallway and the floor is a trail of blood and what looks like chunks of meat about the size of fillet mignon.
I panic. What is going on? Where is the rest of the family?
I run down the hallway with the little girl's hand grasped firmly in mine hoping that I will find her parents and siblings safe on the other end.
Moonlight streams through the front door. No one is there. I panic again and ask her where her family is and what happened. She is mute.
I realize that she has no tongue when all of a sudden her mother comes from out of the shadows. She kneels in front of her daughter and hugs her. The father and other daughter are standing behind and the son is missing.
The mother begins to weep and tells her daughter that she is so sorry. I ask what is going on and tell her that it looks as though someone has vomited blood and meat chunks up and down the hallway. She looks up at me with terror in her eyes and tells me that it is all her fault. That they were once in a cult and that they had been brainwashed to eat people's tongues. They escaped, but sometimes the she couldn't help herself.
She said that she had eaten too many that night and had thrown them up in the hallway. The father realizes what she is saying and becomes irate. He screams furiously at her and asks if this is why his son has no tongue.
I realize that the reason the blood trail ran down the hallway was because she had come to my door. I was next.
That's when I woke up. I had mini dreams for the rest of the night of her standing over my bed and opening her mouth to reveal the jagged remains of her tongue. Her face was stark white and her eyes red.
I had the worst dream EVER.
Here goes:
The boyfriend and I are sitting in "my room" in a house that I have never seen before. The bed has a white down comforter and is backed up against a wall with a beautiful floor to ceiling window at the head of the bed. The window has white squares and a rounded top.
The boyfriend is mindlessly telling me about his day and I am daydreaming while staring out the window. The lot next door is vacant and full of tall prairie grass. The sky is overcast and it makes the prairie grass neon yellow.
A family of five (a mom, a dad, a son and two daughters) are setting up camp with a tent and a grill. I wave although I don't know them. They look up and wave back and I instantly feel as though they have been there for a few days and it is a long weekend... some sort of a holiday.
Flash forward. It is the middle of the night and we are sleeping when I wake up with a start. The house is dark except for the moonlight streaming through the windows making large squares and rectangle shapes on the hardwood floors. I get up and move toward the door. The boyfriend continues to sleep.
I open the door to find the youngest girl from the camping family standing there in a white nightgown. She is covered in blood. I look past her down the dark hallway and the floor is a trail of blood and what looks like chunks of meat about the size of fillet mignon.
I panic. What is going on? Where is the rest of the family?
I run down the hallway with the little girl's hand grasped firmly in mine hoping that I will find her parents and siblings safe on the other end.
Moonlight streams through the front door. No one is there. I panic again and ask her where her family is and what happened. She is mute.
I realize that she has no tongue when all of a sudden her mother comes from out of the shadows. She kneels in front of her daughter and hugs her. The father and other daughter are standing behind and the son is missing.
The mother begins to weep and tells her daughter that she is so sorry. I ask what is going on and tell her that it looks as though someone has vomited blood and meat chunks up and down the hallway. She looks up at me with terror in her eyes and tells me that it is all her fault. That they were once in a cult and that they had been brainwashed to eat people's tongues. They escaped, but sometimes the she couldn't help herself.
She said that she had eaten too many that night and had thrown them up in the hallway. The father realizes what she is saying and becomes irate. He screams furiously at her and asks if this is why his son has no tongue.
I realize that the reason the blood trail ran down the hallway was because she had come to my door. I was next.
That's when I woke up. I had mini dreams for the rest of the night of her standing over my bed and opening her mouth to reveal the jagged remains of her tongue. Her face was stark white and her eyes red.
Monday, July 7, 2008
I'm SO Excited! And I Just Can't Hide It!
Yesterday, I was doing my usual Sunday Night Depression routine (meaning I don't want to go back to work) by watching anything wedding related. I started off with a batch of Bridezillas on the On Demand list and scooted to the Platinum Weddings. WE Go Bridal days are when I don't move from the couch.
The boy toy's usual routine when I'm glued to the TV is to do ANYTHING else.
For a while he was out in the garage spackling the walls for no apparent reason other than to use up the last of the spackle. Then, he moved upstairs for a little alone time with the crossword from the Sunday paper. Then he was quiet. Too quiet.
I was suspicious of what he was up to so I went upstairs to the loft where I found him sitting at the desk looking at the computer. I didn't even look at the monitor because he's always on the computer, I just walked up and asked what he was doing. He immediately jumped and closed all of the windows.
Porn? No.
He had a huge smile on his face and I asked what he was looking at and he told me he couldn't tell me, but then he kept bringing it up himself. So, I laughed and made fun of him because I knew he wanted to tell me SO bad.
I'm still not sure exactly what web pages he was looking at because there seemed to be a lot of text and no pictures (from what I could see in the .2 seconds he had them up), but he told me he may or may not have been looking at rings. He then began to defrag his computer, so further snooping was out of the question.
Later, he asked me if there was something he could have that fit my ring finger. I promptly handed him a costume jewelry ring from Target.
This morning, the ring was nowhere to be found...
The boy toy's usual routine when I'm glued to the TV is to do ANYTHING else.
For a while he was out in the garage spackling the walls for no apparent reason other than to use up the last of the spackle. Then, he moved upstairs for a little alone time with the crossword from the Sunday paper. Then he was quiet. Too quiet.
I was suspicious of what he was up to so I went upstairs to the loft where I found him sitting at the desk looking at the computer. I didn't even look at the monitor because he's always on the computer, I just walked up and asked what he was doing. He immediately jumped and closed all of the windows.
Porn? No.
He had a huge smile on his face and I asked what he was looking at and he told me he couldn't tell me, but then he kept bringing it up himself. So, I laughed and made fun of him because I knew he wanted to tell me SO bad.
I'm still not sure exactly what web pages he was looking at because there seemed to be a lot of text and no pictures (from what I could see in the .2 seconds he had them up), but he told me he may or may not have been looking at rings. He then began to defrag his computer, so further snooping was out of the question.
Later, he asked me if there was something he could have that fit my ring finger. I promptly handed him a costume jewelry ring from Target.
This morning, the ring was nowhere to be found...
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Goodbye 401K matching program! It was fun while it lasted!
In another blow to the gut, we received an e-mail this morning alerting us to the fact that our 401K match would be ending August 1st.The letter reads as follows:
THIS NOTICE APPLIES TO ALL ELIGIBLE 401(K) PLAN PARTICIPANTS Effective August 1, 2008, the matching contributions on your salary deferrals will stop. Prior to that date, salary deferrals were matched 100% of your pay up to 3% and 50% of your pay on the next 2%.
Considering the change, you have the opportunity to modify salary reduction agreement (deferral percentage) before August 1, 2008. Salary reduction changes will be effective beginning pay date August 7, 2008.
And that was it. No explanation as to why.
So, now what do I do? I know I'm really young, but every move that I make now effects my retirement more drastically than in the future! Do I find a new 401K? Do I research Roth IRA? What the funk is a Roth IRA???
What's next? Are they going to deduct our health insurance allowance from our overall salary?
I don't know why I say they. This all comes down to one evil man. Not even a genius, just evil.
Every day there is something new and I don't think he realizes that he is setting it up to look as though the company is going under when he confided in me that he believes by doing things like this it will make us work harder to save the company!!!
UM, NO?!
I'm waiting to see how many people jump ship because it appears to be sinking!
If there are no benefits, there can be no Gidge or her boy toy because we both work for the same benefit stealing company and are trying to lay the tracks for a happy and financially stable life together!
Monday, June 30, 2008
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